The Coach and Horses, 178 Stoke Newington High Street, N16

I’ve never been that much of a fan of the Coach and Horses on Stoke Newington High Street. It always seemed to be a bit too brightly lit and ever-so-slightly scruffy with inflatable Guinness stools (a heinous crime). I went in there recently for a further look to find pleasingly that it has changed for the better. The harsh lighting levels have been softened in favour of Turkish style candle pots at table level, the MDF panelling on the walls has been distressed and aged deliberately to make it look, well, a bit less like MDF wall panelling really. The bar has also been smartened up and lit stylishly and the horrible inflatable Guinness stools which only belong in a holiday camp theme bar have mercifully disappeared. It’s the little things that make the different. Altogether this adds up to a nicer place to sit and have a drink, and it’s cheap too!

Stoke Newington Rumours and Gossip

Rumour has it that the people who own the Birdcage bar in Stamford Hill, The Londesborough in Stoke Newington, The Spustow in Hackney and the Talbot in De Beavior (reviews to follow) have taken over the troublesome site at the end of Stoke Newington Church Street, formerly inhabited by The Three Crowns, Bar Lorca and most recently Bagabon.

Fingers crossed!!

Karnaphuli - 20 Stoke Newington Church Street, N16

I would freely admit that I am definitely no expert on Indian food. Until I moved to London five years ago I’d never even had so much as a take-away. I’ve made an effort at broadening my horizons since then by taking a few adventures into Indian cuisine: a few trips to Tooting, down Brick Lane and so on. I’ve tested out a variety of baltis, jalfrezies, kormas, bhunas……..the list is endless, but my favourite Indian restaurant is in Stoke Newington of all places, Karnaphuli lurks at the not-so-trendy end of Church Street.

Their attitude to service is different, you are genuinely waited on hand and foot without being smothered. Their food is impeccably fresh and purports to be without genetic interference, totally free range and without any artificial flavourings or colourings. It tastes good to boot. I love their King Prawn dishes, with genuine king prawns, no tiddlers. Their Sag Aloo is delicately spiced and the naan breads are airy and evenly cooked, never burnt. At the end of your meal they bring chocolates and a strange, slightly fizzy, slightly alcoholic pineapple shot which despite many attempts I can never get a straight answer as to what exactly is in it.

The wine list is varied for an Indian Restaurant with choices from Chile, France and South Africa. I’ve also tried a few home deliveries and despite being marginally outside their delivery range my food always arrives on time and temperature with courtesy. The quality of food is the same high standards of that served to sit in dinners.

Can’t recommend it highly enough.

The Hen & Chickens Theatre Bar, St Paul's Road, Islington

The Hen & Chickens Theatre Bar is a cosy little hide away, insulated away from the Upper Street madness in Islington, it’s actually on St Paul’s Road on Highbury Corner, which is possibly the ugliest roundabout in London, or at least a contender for that dubious honour.

It has a small intimate theatre on the first floor which shows an eclectic mix of comedy and dark drama. See www.henandchickens.com for their listings.

It’s open later than most and serves a nice pinot grigot which means I like it, but I am easily pleased. It has the benefit of being never too busy to get served and there is even a fair to middling chance of getting a seat.

The Yard, Ravey Street, Shoreditch

The Yard used to be called the Fire Station and it wasn’t really ever up to much. At some point in the last few months it has had a face lift inside and out and metamorphosed into The Yard. The building is set in a courtyard recessed away from the traffic horror that is Old Street, where Paul Street meets Ravey Street. It also means it has only a touch of Hoxton Square in it, being on the other side of the road. Hoxton Square itself is never a pleasant trip unless suitably inebriated.

The restaurant space is dark with low level lighting, very dark interior finishes, granite slab flooring and is spread over two floors. We opted for the basement level and settled ourselves comfortably, although in summer, the weather being reasonable, hiding in the basement makes you feel a bit guilty for not being outside.

The Yard has a basic Italian Style menu, with all the usual suspects; garlic bread or brushettas to start, followed by lasagne, carbonara or an extensive range of pizzas – all very run of the mill options except you can literally order your pizza by the yard. I chose the crayfish, crème fraiche and rocket combo, something I’m fond of in a sandwich but never really had in a pizza and indeed it does work well, but they were a little light on the crayfish. I had a quarter yard which comes on a wooden chopping board with your own pizza cutter which is a nice touch. My fellow dinners went for a half yard of the rocket, parma ham and parmesan combo which was truly huge and needed a fair dose of chilli oil to bring it to life. The prospect of a full yard of pizza is actually slightly terrifying. If it wasn’t for the concept of pizza by the yard, The Yard would be another run of the mill Italian restaurant.

The Narrow Boat - 119 Peters Street Islington

The Narrow Boat is a great concept, it’s a two storey bar right on the banks of Regent’s Canal complete with terrace outside and balcony over the waters edge with a view of the boat people below and the pretty willow trees. They serve the usual range of beer and plonk, there are candle lit tables, sofas and plenty of staff so you don’t have to stand at the bar for ages looking hopefully at someone in desperation to get a drink for half an hour.

All well and good so far, except it isn’t really, it’s full of the inhabitants of the nearby estates, fond of all day binges and boy are they loud. The acoustics in the place are terrible, low ceilings, unbroken wall space and wooden flooring which means every cackle and shriek reverberates around the room. At the risk of sounding a bit middle aged, you had to shout to make yourself heard. I wasn’t in the mood for any alcohol (almost unheard of really) so I had an orange and cranberry J20 which was so out of date the contents of the bottle had changed colour. The toilets weren’t the cleanest I’ve ever encountered either. Overall the whole place isn’t what it could be. Maybe I could give is another chance but not in any great hurry.

Japanese Cookies

I love China Town, London’s China Town is packed full of Chinese supermarkets, shops, restaurants and other oriental curiosities. The easiest way to make discoveries is as follows:

Enter supermarket with fist full of money (no more than £10 is usually necessary).
Make one quick lap of the supermarket and seek out the most brightly coloured packets
Choose packet most appealing – no English translations allowed, this is cheating, you must only have a vague grasp of what is in the packet
Pay for, take home and eat.

These are my latest discovery. Japanese cookies, a biscuit sandwich filled with chocolate moose and cranberry pieces. Very nice indeed.

The Crown & Sceptre - 68 Great Titchfield Street

Fitzrovia is an odd stretch of town, everyone automatically heads for the party lands of Soho or Covent Garden and leaves the area north of Oxford Street well alone which is a shame because there is some good finds to be had up there. One of which is the Crown and Sceptre. I first stumbled across this bar many moons ago whist wandering north of Oxford Street thinking “I wonder what’s up here”. It’s large and has an Edwardian theme, standard food menu, lots of sofas and occasional large screens for the football. When I first found it the Crown and Sceptre was pleasantly half full, there’s nothing worse than standing room only for a quiet drink, but we returned to watch England v Turkey in the crunch world cup qualifier for the 2002 tournament, and the world and their dog had turned up. Choose your timing wisely.

Cafe Koha - 11 St Martin's Lane

This place is my favourite wine bar and I hope it forever remains a secret. It should be protected from the hoards of tourist, after work crews and ladies what lunch that attach themselves to nearby Leicester Square. It’s for me and my friends only. I’ve been coming here for years now and have never once failed to get a table either outside or in. Outside is a great stage door vantage point, although I’ve only ever managed to catch a glimpse of Patrick Stewart, which is none too impressive really considering you’ve got two or three stage doors and the entrance to the celebrity fest that is J.Sheekey, but that’s my fault for generally not paying enough attention. Inside is a wood panelled intimate wine bar with a menu of amuse bouches to go with the lovely range of plonk (all countries new and old world fully represented and the odd beer can be produced if you ask nicely) I can sit here for hours watching the world go by and frequently do.

The Bastille - 100 St Paul's Road, N1

I’m not feeling great this morning, not through over indulgence last night you understand but because I injured myself in The Bastille last night. I bent down to retrieve my napkin and whacked the side of my head off a poorly positioned shelf. Very sore and I now have an unsightly bruise. People in work whisper behind my back (no woman is allowed to have an accident these days, you know).

Tony Blair, rumour has it, frequented this place, no doubt with Cherie, in his days before becoming PM. They had a house round the corner.

So, was it worth it? Not entirely convinced. I’ve wanted to go the Bastille for ages because it looks nice, it’s French and it’s a gastropub, I am a fan of all three of these. We weren’t hugely hungry so forwent starters though there appeared a wide ranging selection of soups, fish and meat based options. Veggies beware though, it’s garlic bread and pasta n sauce all the way here, the French like their meat. Main course for me was a char grilled rib eye steak with blue cheese sauce. It was not a stingy piece of meat by any means but it was a trifle too chargrilled for my liking and too heavy on the blue cheese sauce. Blue cheese is a hugely strong flavour which is its strength undoubtedly, but there is no need to absolutely drown the meat in it. The French fires on the other hand were exactly as they should be, crisp and light. Mr Gorb, being more adventurous than me went for a spiced sausage option which arrived looking like grilled frankfurters and tasting like frankfurters masquerading as chorizo. That said he did get six of them which is rather a lot. The whole lot with a bottle of house white (a very nice Loire Valley Sauvignon Blanc) came to about £40 which is bit too much for too cheesy chargrilled steak and spiced frankfurters.

Disappointed we repaired to the bar for afters. Now this is the only reason to go to the Bastille and they only reason I shall be returning, the bar is comfortable, chilled and well stocked, Budwar for Mr Gorb and more of the Sauvignon for me.

Simple After Work Supper Part 4 - Steak and Red Cabbage

Serves two

Ingredients

Olive oil
2 pieces of sirloin steak
2 tablespoons plain floor
Fresh ground sea salt and black pepper
Half a red cabbage chopped thinly
1 small red onion chopped thinly
3 tablespoons Balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons of red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons dried oregano
New potatoes

Remove the steak from the fridge and let it return to room temperature first.

Put potatoes into already boiling slightly salted water.

Add onion and red cabbage to a wok of heated olive oil and stir fry for a few minutes. Add the balsamic and red wine vinegar and oregano and mix well and stir fry until slightly softened.

Meanwhile mix the plain flour with the seasoning and press the steaks into the mixture to ensure thoroughly covered. Flash fry on a high heat in olive oil to seal meet on both sides. Transfer to heated grill and cook for 4 mins each side (longer for well done).

A plea to Pizza Express

There is a strange inexplicable phenomenon at work in London society in respect of restaurant chains and it also extends itself to pub and bar chains too. Everyone hates chains, they profess to despise and never darken the door step of them all, from McDonalds to the Pitcher and Piano, from the dreaded Starbucks to the Yo Sushi conveyors. Despite this these chains are always busy. For instance, consider this: have you ever walked past an All Bar One in central London at 7pm on a Thursday evening? Regardless of where it is, it will be packed to the rafters, guaranteed. It’s not either as if this particular All Bar One is the sole licensed premises for miles. In London nearly everyone of the legal drinking age could find themselves a seat in a London Pub if we spread ourselves out a bit.

I have a theory, whisper it softly now, people actually like chains. I do. There I’ve said it. I like chains. Not all of them by any means, there are still some awful ones about, but then again, there are still some pretty poor independent outfits as well. For some people the sight of a familiar brand or logo is a guarantee of a certain level of expectation. I love Pizza Express. I’ve never had a bad meal in a Pizza Express restaurant and believe me I’ve been in enough of them. I’ve never been surprised or knocked off my feet by the outstanding originality or inspirational cuisine, but that isn’t what they’re for. Pizza Express exists, like all business, to make a profit and it does this by feeding punters reasonably priced Italian fare in a pleasant environment, and it does this brilliantly time and time again.

So, to the main point of this post, I despite a healthy admiration for their undoubtedly professional approach to running a restaurant chain am ever so slightly aggrieved with the good folk behind Pizza Express. Like Tesco, Pizza Express, are omnipresent. In fact I’m convinced there are uninhabited islands off the north coast of Scotland with their own Tesco Metro stores, just in case the seagulls need some fresh coriander and chillies on the way home. I reside in central Hackney, a land blessed with only low budget chains like McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut (not even a sit-in Pizza Hut at that). Tesco, on the other hand, have done us proud by throwing up not one but two whacking great sheds, but that’s a whole other debate and, anyway, did you know that Hackney is the home of Tesco? Bet you didn’t. Hackney is oft touted as one of these mythical hotspots of regeneration commonly known as up-and-coming. Unfortunately this “up-and-coming” generally means “presently-it’s-a-bit-of-a-shithole.” This is true of central Hackney certainly, but no worse that some of Pizza Expresses chosen urban outposts, I mean for god’s sake there’s even one in Leith or even Ilford for that matter.

So here is a photo of my solution.

This is an empty unit for lease in the relatively new Library and Learning Trust building. Now I appreciate it’s not their usual style dripping with architectural significance but tough, it’s Hackney and that’s all there is. It’s 3000 sqft, an ideal size and already has A3 planning consent, so no hurdles there. Significantly it’s been on the market for over a year now (too big for a kebab joint, too small for a Tesco metro, after which point everyone runs out of imagination in Hackney) so it’s cheap.

Now, for the interesting bit, the ridiculously over the top 20th Century Fox style Hackney Empire sign is funnily enough, the newly refurbished Hackney Empire theatre which is pulling in hundreds of people every night. Some friends of Mr Gorb, used to the good life in Blackheath ventured bravely north to see a show and ended up feeding themselves in the Wetherspoons pub across the road because there simply is nowhere else to go, (McDonalds and KFC aside). There is no Italian restaurant for a very long way from this area, in fact, there’s no restaurant of any note or capacity nearby at all. I took the photo from the other side of the road standing outside the now defunct Ocean Music Venue (a Hackney Council debacle almost on a par with the ongoing Clissold Leisure Centre trauma). Hackney Council have prioritised the venue to be resurrected as an arts venue and the place has a capacity of thousands. A merely 30 seconds walk away is Hackney town hall, headquarters of the council, who employ hundreds of staff, thus sorting out the lunch market. As if further evidence was needed, the nearby newly constructed Martello Tower apartments sell for over £250k a pop. People who can stretch to that don’t want to eat in KFC, well not every night anyway.

Go on Pizza Express give us a go, I know you want to, I’ve seen the 1999 planning application on the building up the road, subsequently withdrawn. Bar Central got there first and failed just as their successor, Bar Seashell, probably will too. Not because they lacked a market but because, quite frankly, they just weren’t very good.

Pizza Express please give us a go, bring your dough balls to Hackney.